Child Safety – Part 1 Communication & Body Safety
This is the first part of a five-part series on Child Safety. Over the next six-seven weeks, we will focus on various aspects of child safety including:
- Part 1 – Communication, Planning & Body Safety
- Part 2 – Home Safety
- Part 3 – Fire & Burglary
- Part 4 – Away from Home
- Part 5 – Babies & Toddlers
Importance of Planning & Communication
The first two rules of child safety are first having a plan and secondly communicating that plan to your child on their level of understanding. Of course, you won’t be able to predetermine every situation that might arise and even the ones you do have a plan for may not go off without a hitch, which is why it is extremely important to help your child develop critical thinking skills for when emergencies arise. Studies show that when parents openly discuss safety with their children and reinforce those conversations with role-playing or quizzing, children are less likely to panic in an emergency.
Body Safety
Since it is sometimes the toughest thing to talk about with your child, our first safety topic will cover Body Safety. Ideally, you want to foster an environment where your child understands the difference between healthy and unhealthy secrets. Begin by making a commitment that you will educate your child in an ongoing manner, through many natural conversations throughout their childhood and adolescence. Don’t aim to have “the talk” in one shot. Your relationship should be such that your child will feel comfortable approaching you if situations arise that they are confused or uncomfortable about.
It’s a great idea to discuss other family members or close friends that your child can turn to if for whatever reason they are unable to talk to you. Have them list a few people that they trust enough to share their experiences with. Not only will this provide more options for your child, but it will also reinforce the idea that they will not be in trouble if someone makes inappropriate advances. Explain that talking about their experiences is important even if someone only makes them feel uncomfortable, whether an action has taken place or not. The goal is to make your child feel easy about approaching you if something feels wrong or off about someone.
Also, worth noting is that your child is more likely to communicate their feelings to you if they are made to feel that this topic is a comfortable one to bring up. One of the ways to make them feel comfortable is by erasing the old taboos of past generations when children were seen and not heard. In particular, the taboo of using “polite” or “cute” words to name their body parts (if they were allowed to speak of them at all) did little except force children to create shame in themselves around abuse or feeling violated. Teaching your child the correct names for their body parts reinforces the idea that it’s ok to talk about their body and feelings with you.
Again, open communication is key. When your child sees that you are not embarrassed or nervous about explaining to them what is appropriate or inappropriate, what is private (just for them), and what they should speak about openly to you or another trusted family member, they will be less likely to keep unhealthy secrets.
Finally, consistently talking to your child about all of their feelings (what makes them happy, sad, excited, mad, etc.) will allow them to learn to use their words to express themselves. Learning to open up, as it relates to body safety and any other topic helps to create self-awareness and leads to a healthy self-image.
When you don’t know where to begin
- Read an age-appropriate book with your child on the topic (or watch a movie) to make it easier to spark a conversation.
- Have another trusted adult like a grandparent or friend present for support.
- Find a counselor to speak to about how you can comfortably broach the topic.
- Speak from your own experiences and how you may have felt at their age.
- Just start talking! Remember, life does not come pre-packaged in a pretty bow. Some conversations and experiences are tough … sometimes you just have to dive in to see where they take you.